Similes and metaphors add spice to your writing, making it less boring and more enjoyable to read. They are rather easy to understand and use, unlike nastier things such as participles and gerunds (tip: just use them, even if you don't really know what they are.)
Similes
Similes compare two things to each other. They usually have the words like
or as
in them. Some examples, the first seven supplied by Jerad Timmons, follow:
- Jason is as ugly as a piece of sh!t with nuts.
- He is as wimpy as the Backstreet Boys.
- He is as gay as a gay couple on Gay Day.
- He looks like an African porch monkey.
- He sits like a queer.
- He walks like a jacka$$.
- His lip is as big as an elephant's a$$.
- His brain looks, acts, and tastes like a peanut.
- He smells like rotten eggs, boiling cabbage, and rancid, fly-covered dog feces.
- He acts like dog feces rolling down a hill.
- He farts like a broken gas main.
- Sometimes, his sh!t looks like Neapolitan ice cream: red, white, and brown.
Metaphors
Metaphors also compare two things to each other. However, a metaphor says that an object is another object, rather than saying that an object is like another object. Below are some examples.
- Jason's breath is the black plague.
- He is a reeking 4nu$.
- His p3n!5 is a half-eaten cocktail weiner.
- He is a box of chocolates: you never know what you get.
- His sh!t is Neapolitan ice cream the day after his wild parties.
